The most usual scenario when a couple divorces, is that they will not spend the holidays together. The problems that led to divorce and the hurt that resulted from ending the marriage are such that they would rather be apart on days that families traditionally celebrate together.
If you share children, it can make things difficult for them. They cannot be in two places at once and they likely want to share the holidays with both of you. You, too might have built some fantastic relationships with the family of your soon-to-be ex and enjoy celebrating the holidays with them.
Celebrating together can be beneficial
If you can make celebrating the holidays together work, it can be fantastic for your children. It can also make things easier for the other family members who liked having you around and whose company and support you enjoyed. While it might not be easy for you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, it can be a sacrifice worth making.
A show of togetherness
Showing your kids that you can still spend time together, even though you no longer want to be married to each other, lets them know that you can still cooperate for them. It reassures them that one of you won’t just disappear from their lives and that while things will change, a lot will stay the same.
It can make things much more pleasant for those other family members who may be unsure where to stand, stuck between loyalty to their relation and fondness for the in-law. It can benefit you, too, by keeping access to the support networks your in-laws provided open.
It won’t always work and sometimes it is not advisable. Yet, it’s something to consider when planning your parenting strategy in a divorce.