It is natural to worry about the effect of your divorce on your child, and how you and your co-parent manage your post-divorce relationship can have a major impact.
That’s why learning to be effective co-parents is important (even when you decide not to remain married).
Co-parenting requires compromise
Here are some things you can do to make co-parenting easier:
- Forget about the past: Spending hours replaying everything that happened in your marriage is futile. Concentrate your energy on creating a new, more positive future.
- Do not try and be a super parent: It can be tempting to overcompensate with your child for the “loss” of the other parent. You might have lost a spouse, but your child still has two parents. They do not need you to “make it up to them.” They need you to be there for them.
- Accept your differences: If your 4-year-old daughter comes back from her dad’s plastered in mud, with her usually perfect hair untamed, it is not the end of the world. She probably had a great time doing things she does not do with you.
- Accept you will make mistakes: Do not expect perfection from each other or criticize honest errors. Yes, they may have forgotten that your child is on a keto diet and fed them pizza. That does not make them a bad parent. If it did not bother your child, it should not bother you.
- Enjoy your time off: Instead of worrying about what your child is up to with the other parent, focus on having fun yourself. Use the time apart from your child to do whatever you want without answering to anyone.
The smoother you can make your divorce process, the better. Reducing conflict puts you in a better standing to begin your relationship as co-parents. If you’re struggling to come up with a parenting plan, don’t hesitate to seek out more assistance. Your attorney may be able to guide you the right direction.