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3 tips for managing a narcissistic spouse during divorce

| May 31, 2021 | Family Law

If you are getting a divorce from a narcissistic spouse, it can be tough. It is a challenge because they can be kind one minute and then turn on you the next. They want to be right — and they want to be in control.

Fortunately, while you might not be able to change their behavior, you can anticipate their actions and avoid providing them with the reactions that they are seeking. Below are some tips that can help you when divorcing a narcissistic spouse.

In it to win it

Your spouse will do what they can to “win” the divorce rather than settle out of court or through mediation. This may include dragging out the negotiation process, refusing good settlement offers and outright refusing to communicate with you or your attorney other than to go to court.

You need to be prepared for this. Your attorney will be there to help you navigate your next steps when your spouse tries to obstruct the divorce.

Document your case carefully

Document everything. Narcissistic spouses may attempt to ruin your good name, so keep track of all communications and actions they take that could negatively affect you.

If they are calling to harass you, keep copies of voicemails or report the abuse immediately to your attorney and the police. If they send you a nasty letter, make copies for court.

Be ready for court

Be prepared to go to court. There is a good chance that your spouse will drag out your case until you get to a courtroom. Your family law attorney will prepare you to win your case by documenting your spouse’s bad behavior. Have your documentation ready, so on the day of court you aren’t involved in a paper chase.

During this challenging time, it might be helpful to engage in some short-term counseling to help you recover emotionally and mentally from the damage of being married to a narcissist. Your doctor or attorney may be able to recommend a good counselor for you.